The Earth-Toned Pill

I just read an article on CNN Money that discusses the pros and cons of making assistance available to the 'big three' auto manufacturers in the form of federal loans, and I have to say that the more I read or hear about this, the more physically ill I feel.

Maybe its just me, but I thought that being a free-market capitalist society meant that we practised neutral patterns of market regulation with only minimal governmental intervention?

I understand that the auto industry in general is truly integral to the national economy, and that tens of thousands of workers and millions of consumers either directly or indirectly depend on it for their individual economic stability... But does that mean we should allow these inefficient behemoths to keep operating as they are at the taxpayers' risk?

Truly, these businesses cannot be allowed to fail outright. But that is what chapter 11 bankruptcy is for... Allow these businesses to keep operating, but use the law to force them to shed weight, trim up and return to profitability. If GM, Ford or Chrysler eventually go under even after using the chapter 11 safety valve, then good bye and good riddance!

I admit that I would be devestated to be an employee let go after years of service in that industry. But instead of waiting for Michael Moore to show up on my doorstep so I can cry on camera and plead for my job back on a theater screen, why not take this as an opportunity to start fresh in a new industry? Maybe even take a chance and move somewhere else?

No, not everyone can easily do this, probably very few can or would do it at all. But to me, that is the big problem... Not the failure of the US auto industry, but the failure of US auto workers and consumers at large to see the writing on the wall for the status quo and force a change on the auto industry.

After all, these were the comapnies that continued to bring us such great vehicles like the H3 and Escalade long after it was clear that fuel prices were generally on the rise and the days of cheap, unlimited and easy-to-access oil were long gone.

Link: http://www.helpthehoneybees.com/

A friend sent me the link to this Flash site today, and I was really impressed with the complexity and simplicity of the site Häagen-Dazs® put together for their save the honey bees initiative.

The colors are soft and natural, very balanced and in tune with the subject matter. And while it has a good degree of interactivity, it doesn't overdo it on the visuals at all.

Check this great site out when you get a chance!

Tomorrow is the 'official' beginning of the Fantasy Fatball Competition between Sean and I, but today is my starting point for the elimination of fast food, processed foods and Coke. I had a pretty good weekend maxing out on all my favorite garbage, and last week in general was nothing but one long McDonalds farewell marathon. (Cate was beyond pissed when she saw bank charges on Friday for three Mickey D's meals in a single day...) In any event, the stage is set and Sean and I have established the conditions by which one of us will win this competition.

This is a winner-take-all competition, with the winner being the person with the highest number of points on April 1st. Points will be awarded in four categories:

1. 2 Points for most total pounds lost
2. 1 Point for most improved bad cholesterol
3. 1 Point for most total HealthMiles
4. 1 Point for most improved body fat

For an idea of where I'm starting at, here are my basic health stats as officially recorded at work:

Weight: 271.2 lbs
BMI: 34.8
Body Fat: 28%
Blood Pressure: 135/78

Yeah. Ouch.

In addition to my body almost being one third of just fat, I have insanely high blood pressure and a BMI in the 'obese' zone. With that said, I'm trying to look on the positive side. Like, me being fatter gives me more of an opportunity to lose weight... Look, I know its BS, but it justifies it somewhat, right?

Anyway, I'm really trying to get in the mindset of eating healthy and avoiding the bad things I know I should be avoiding. If I can stick to that, it will be as good a start as I can ask for and I should be well on my way to keeping up with Dr. Raines. I may not be as disciplined as Sean on the diet front, but if I can come close, I can put myself in range to use my secret power: MILITARY STUPIDITY! This power will enable me to work out until my body physically can't anymore, which usually results in me either passing out or throwing up. Either way, in 6 months I go from this:

(I'm the jackass with the humungoid gut on the left...)

To THIS:

Hell Yeah.

My employer recently announced a health incentive program they are introducing called Virgin HealthMiles, which happens to be another sub-company of Richard Branson's all-consuming Virgin global brand.

What does this mean to me? Well, from the basic information I've read and discussed with co-workers, participants of this initiative will be signed up, tested, and receive items such as a USB-capable pedometer that will help track our progress on the way towards a healthier, move productive life that (not coincidentally) also helps the company pay less in overall healthcare costs because it's employees are leaner and happier.

So what's the motivation for me to let my company pry into my personal health?

MONEY.

Supposedly, if I am able to meet some goals at the end of each year, I will be eligible to receive up to about $450 from the program! Its a pretty cool idea, but over a year $450 is really just a drop in the bucket. For me to really 'give it my all', there has to be something more.

Enter Fantasy Fatball...*

My friend at work Sean is highly competitive and is also apparently a gambler from the Cosmo Kramer school of action:

We talked quite a bit at work once information about HealthMiles came out about how it would be cool to get a little friendly bet going amongst people in the office, a sort-of 'Biggest Loser' kind of deal that would give people interested a little incentive to try harder to reach their goals... While taking people's money if they won.

This quickly evolved into a mano-a-mano showdown between Sean and I, winner take all, with a total pot of $600 going to the winner at the end of 6 months. The 2-man aspect of this came about because, frankly, I'd rather not get an office-wide gambling thing going for HR to get antsy about. They love me here at work, but the pink slip monster is something I'd rather avoid in this current economy. In the end, a $600 showdown between Sean and I would work just fine.

Yes, things got that stupid that quick.

The program officially kicks off Monday, so on that day we officially begin our self-inflicted misery and decide on what the final requirements for a win will be. I have to admit, Sean has me a bit psyched-out. Kramer Sean is a master competitor and it will be everything I can do to keep pace. Overall, here is the way we stack up as I see it:

Sean

• Apparent ability to easily adhere to extreme diets
• Ability to quite Coke 'cold turkey' (the drink, moron...)
• Willingness to stay through till the end
• Highly competitive nature

Jonathan

• Ability to workout until I puke myself unconscious
• Military-instilled disregard for my own personal safety in order to reach a goal
• Ability to embrace purging as a legitimate weapon in my arsenal
• Total lack of concern where self-deprecation is mentioned

Once you really start comparing us by those facts, I think it's easy to see who the winner is... And in case you still can't figure out who to support, always go with the man willing to hurt himself in order to win. Doesn't mean I want or plan to, just means I'm willing to do it if it gives me an edge.

Next post I'll discuss the unclassified parts of my contest-winning strategy!

*This term was originally coined by Sean Raines. Any unauthorized use of the term is prohibited.

What's the only thing worse than the thought of Sarah Palin becoming the president of the United States should John McCain get elected and kick the bucket in office, you ask?

This:

That's right... If you have a way to flash a custom cartridge for a Nintendo DS, you too can download and be the proud owner of a copy of Obama Says: Yes We Can.

Jonathan Says: No Way In Hell will I ever think about downloading this Simon Says monstrosity. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an 'Obama hater'... (I discriminate equally against Republicans and Democrats) I just can't stand the commercialization and cavalier attitude towards the upcoming election, especially another one that is so important. I guess I'm just burned out on politics though, thanks to biased information outlets, ill-intentioned politicians and 24-hour-a-day garbage news networks.

On a lighter note, I think this is the only time you'll see me use the tags 'nintendo ds' and 'presidential election' in the same post. Hopefully...

Central Florida News 13, a local TV station here in Orlando, reported today that over 100 students walked out of class to protest the Orange County School Board's recent decision to swap the school starting times for middle and high schools.

The school board made this decision, much to the anger of many parents and students, because it will save the county nearly $6 million in fuel, labor, maintenance and bus replacement costs when it faces a nearly-insurmountable budget shortfall in the wake of budget cuts.

This is yet another example of the fallout resulting from the implementation of Amendment 1 earlier this year, mainly so home and business owners could receive tax relief in the form of expanded homestead and property tax exemptions. Floridians should not be surprised by these budget cuts, however, as before the vote bloggers and other sources of anti-amendment information were getting the warning word out and telling people what might possibly result:

The political groups against this amendment claim it would cause apocalyptic type service cuts and layoffs in police, fire, rescue, parks, and similar services. (School districts are exempt from most of the tax cuts and caps.) I do not know the validity of this claim. Obviously taxes would be cut, but over the last 7 or so years tax revenues have dramatically increased (nearly doubling in many jurisdictions) and the cuts are relatively minor in comparison to the increases.

As we have found out in central Florida, apocalyptic turned out to be an excellent word. The schools, law enforcement agencies, firefighters and recreational services, to name a few, are all feeling the severe budget-cutting effects resulting from the passing of this amendment.

Send an email to Charlie Crist and thank him for this abomination he so cheerily pushed on the people of Florida. Don't hesitate to also let your local representative know what you think too!

I know I did...

Last night, several of us went and saw a special advance screening of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull at the Regal 20 at Waterford Lakes, thanks to Catie's luck in obtaining the passes for us all from someone where she works! There were at least 600+ people there with special passes to the event, and the line to get into the theaters was insanely long. Tons of fanboys & normals, young and old were there to see it first, and there was a definite air of excitement around us that served as a reminder that we were playing our part in a popular culture phenomenon that spans decades.

And let me be the first to tell you, Harrison Ford still has the magic. Seriously.

*** BE WARNED, SERIOUS SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT ***

The Plot

The movie opens with a group of Russians disguised as US soldiers raiding Area 51 with a kidnapped Indiana Jones and his new sidekick buddy Mac, played by Ray Winstone. The Russians use Indy to help him find one of the alien carcasses secretly held by the government from the Roswell incident in 1947. The Russians are led by the deadly sexy Soviet psychic Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) and her 2nd in command Dovchenko, played in excellent villanous fashion by Igor Jijikine, who reminded me very much of the Oberst Vogel character from Last Crusade, albeit younger and tougher. During this sequence in the giant 'Lost Ark' warehouse, Indy discovers that Mac is a traitor but escapes from the clutches of the soviets in a thrilling chase scene through the warehouse climaxes in a fight with Dovchenko on a jet engine-powered rocket sled that dumps them both in the middle of the Nevada desert, where he is able to escape away from his Soviet pursuers into a mockup of a 'typical US town', also known as Doom Town, which Indy discovers is about to be blown up as part of the US military's nuclear testing program! He luckily hides in a lead-walled refrigerator just in time to keep him alive while the town is totally destroyed by the nuclear bomb.

After his lucky escape, Indy is debriefed by the FBI and army, and we discover here that Indy was actually a member of the OSS during the Second World War, and won many medals and awards for his actions on the European continent. In the McCarthy-era anti-Communist climate of the 50s, however, Indy is accused by the FBI of conspiring with the soviets and as a result loses his job at the college where he teaches. On his way out of town, he is stopped at the last second by a young, motorcycle-riding greaser named Mutt, who goes with Indy to a stereotypical 50s diner where he tells Indy that he was sent by his mother to help her and another archaeologist named Oxley (played by Englishman John Hurt), who have both been kidnapped by Spalko and her goons. Mutt informs Indy that 'Ox' was looking for a fabled crystal skull from the lost city of gold, and has apparently gone mad in the process. As Mutt gives Indy a map drawn by Ox, two Russian agents try to capture them but are foiled in an excellent fight scene, which is followed by a motorcycle chase that proves to be one of the film's most memorable, and highlights Ford's still-impressive athleticism.

The two then journey on to South America in search of Mutt's mother, Ox and the crystal skull. They first locate the crystal skull, but are then captured by Spalko. It is at this point that we learn that Mutt's mother is none other than Marion Ravenwood from Raiders, and that Indy is actually Mutt's father, whose real name is Henry Jones III!! The movie then features several excellent chase scenes through the South American jungle, one of which ended up in a gigantic ant nest that eventually (literally) consumed Dovchenko after a knock-down fight between him and Indy.

The group of Indy, Marion, Mutt, Ox and Mac (who is now a supposed double agent), then escape the soviets again to arrive at a temple that they eventually get inside. In the temple's depths, they discover evidence of artifacts accross all times and locations throughout human history, indicating that the temple was home to a kind of alien archeologist species. Mac was in fact helping the soviets all along though, and let Spalko and her remaining soviet goons to Indy, at which point they discover that the temple houses several alien skeletal remains. They reunite the crystal skull with its body, triggering the temple to transform and reveal its true form as an alien saucer ship. Indy, Marion, Ox and Mutt escape as the spacecraft begins to launch, while Mac is killed and Spalko is driven mad and incinerated by the alien mind she sought to gain control of.

This part of the film ends with an amazing sequence where the group escapes the ship and watches it take off and dissapear, with Ox describing the aliens as 'trans-dimensional beings' that disappeared to the 'space between space'.

Yep...

And so the movie then cuts to Indy and Marion's wedding, ending with a hint that Shia LeBouf's character may in fact be the beginning of a new series of adventures.

What I Thought

Overall, it was a great movie that was very much in the mold of the previous films. Everything from the stuntwork to the cinematography all came together to bring me right back to the series, almost like putting back on your favorite T-shirt after a two month hiatus... Except this time around, we've been waiting 19 years.

Was it too long a wait? Yes, I do still think so after having seen it. Although Ford still does have the magic, the plain truth is that he's just plain old and it was very fortunate for Spielberg and company that he was able to do his own stunts, keep Indy's humor and personality intact, and avert a cultural disaster, all despite his age.

The action sequences were excellent, the chases thrilling, and the way the loose ends were tied up will be enough to satisfy most of the series fanboys and die-hards out there. While I expect that a lot of people will be put off by the alien-centric plot, if you look at it for what it is (which is an homage to 50s scifi B-movies), then you won't be let down or dissapointed.

Overall, I give my standing ovation to Spielberg, Ford & Co. and give this film a solid 3 stars!

So here in the Walters household, there's a serious air of anticipation surrounding the premier of the 4th Indiana Jones film this week. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull made its initial debut at the Cannes film festival yesterday, supposedly to a lukewarm response by critics who generally called it 'more of the same' (in a good way, I'm assuming?) and 'a bit creaky', as Harrison Ford is visibly quite old and they don't make much effort at hiding that. All this aside, I'm still extremely excited about seeing the film and I plan on wearing a fedora to the premier in true movie geek style. The only thing that is really turning me off at all, and actually kind of ruining the mood for me, is the way George Lucas is handling himself as we get closer to the US premier on Thursday.

George Lucas was never a really great director, and he has said as much himself. I would go a step further and say that he is a mediocre director at best, and a weak writer. The latter point is particularly painful for me, as Lucas co-wrote the story for the 4th Indy movie, which he originally wanted to name Indiana Jones and the Saucer Men From Mars. Saucer men from Mars?!? What the hell was he initially thinking? I understand that he wanted to originally do a 4th Indy movie that was a tribute to 1950's sci-fi 'B' movies, but didn't the world already have more than enough of this when Mars Attacks! raped our eyes and minds back in 1996? And really, is an homage to 'B' movies how you want to remember Harrison Ford and Co. after all the dust settles? I think not, and thank god Steven Spielberg agreed and told Lucas to 'go back to the drawing board' and come back with a real movie.

I was pushed further down the path of the 'Lucas Haters' after I read this recent snippet, describing a conversation between Lucas and Spielberg regarding the hype surrounding this kind of film:

"I explained to Steven when we sat down on this, I said ... when you do a film that's this anticipated, people have a tendency to believe it's going to be the second coming and no matter what you give them they're going to be disappointed. We're all going to get people throwing tomatoes at us. But it's a fun movie to make. We love it."

Well, George, did you ever think that all your Star Wars fans were actually expecting good films when you instead handed them three pieces (ep 1-3) of forgettable schlock? I think most would agree that George Lucas choosing to write and direct the Star Wars prequels was a huge mistake, and when combined with poor casting choices for central characters like Anakin, the result is without a doubt going to sour a lot of fans' stomachs. I'm sorry, but this film will be the second coming if it is written well, cast well, and directed well, while also respecting the spirit of the previous installments in the series.

My sense of annoyance and dismay with George Lucas just continued to grow following this interview with him, Shia LeBouf, Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg:

When Diane Sawyer asks the question around 2:55 into it about their 'favorite scene or quote', Lucas' answer made me want to punish my TV. He may have been genuinely trying to be funny, but there is definitely (at the very least) a touch of seriousness to it. Plugging a new DVD set? Are you serious??? Whatever. To me, the interview on the whole was kind of uncomfortable to watch, but plugging a DVD set like that wasn't exactly appropriate. Besides, doesn't he have enough Star Wars money to last him well into the afterlife?

I guess in the end I shouldn't worry too much about Lucas, because at least in this case he has the sanity of Steven Spielberg to balance out his faults. And in the end, I think the movie will depend more on Harrison Ford than on any other person in the cast or crew.

Lets just hope Harrison Ford still has the magic...